Getting What You Want

It is very interesting when you finally get something that you want - especially if it is something that you have been wanting for a long time. Sometimes it is everything you thought it would be and it is thrilling. Sometimes, it is even more than you imagined (Heaven will be like that). But other times, and very often, it is not quite all that you thought it would be. (As an aside, I think marriage falls into all three of those categories!) Let's just say that I am experiencing the latter option with my new teaching position. Teaching is not something that you "ease into". I don't mean to imply that you don't prepare - you do! A great deal between your education classes, certification, training, room preparation, lesson planning. But the actual teaching - the position of having a classroom and being responsible for its students, is immediate. One day you don't have students in your classroom, and the next day, you do. There they sit at 8:40 A.M on the first day, new school supplies in their hands and eager expectation on their faces. And you have them all day for the next nine months (kind of like gestation). And you have to at least appear like you know what you are doing, that you are in control, and that you are happy to be at school (It is a toss-up as to which of those is most difficult!). But it actually isn't the teaching/lesson planning part that has proven the most challenging. It is the........discipline. Oh yes. What happens when little Johnny (or in my case, Juan) doesn't want to listen? He would rather sing a song, draw a picture, kick the person sitting next to him, flirt with the girl across the room, play a game, talk about a game, or make obscene gestures to the student in the next desk. And you, poor, idealistic, new teacher, you don't want to discipline. You don't want to go through the three steps to a detention, move the student to another seat, rearrange seats, call parents, or CONSTANTLY reprimand the student. You just want to teach about continents and read "The Hungry Caterpillar" to them. And hopefully have an "Anne of Green Gables" moment. (I will be sure to blog if such ever happens to me!) In short, words that describe these last three- going- on -four weeks are: overwhelming, exhausting, frustrating, challenging, draining, consuming. Please pray with me that I would have the wisdom to handle classroom management, strength and refreshment, a joy in my work, and the ability to "have a life" outside teaching as well. Don't read me wrong, I do have enjoyable times and like my students. It is just.....a lot. And on that note, I say goodnight :)

Yea for Italy!!

Woo-hoo! Italy wins the World Cup! They played their hearts out; it was a great game. I have never been so "into" a game before. It was thrilling :) Toni and Grusso and Buffon are my favorites. Oh, and Pirlo. And several others, but I don't know their names. ( I am a very new fan). Anyway, yea Azzurri!!

A Brief update while fighting exhaustion.

Ok. So I thought I would do a lot more blogging than I have done. It isn't that I have forgotten; I've just been busy. And Bill has the computer sometimes too when I am in the mood to write, so that doesn't help. But, I am still here. And right now I am tired. It is almost midnight, and that is late for me. But, I was in the blogging vicinity, so I thought I'd jot off a quick note while I was here. Much has happened since I last wrote, and maybe sometime when I am not so sleepy, I will go into more detail. Until then, I am going to make it a brief catch-up. School ended about two weeks ago, and I am glad. Though I enjoyed working with the students, the whole atmosphere was dysfunctional, and therefore exhausting. It drained me. So I am happy about having a break now. I did get hired to teach ESL next year at a different school (a healthy, happy school!), and I am really excited about that! I am hoping that soon I will be able to start working on my classroom and lesson plans. The way that job worked out is a HUGE blessing and really the hand of the Lord was so evident in it all. I'll have to share more about that sometime. Bill and I are thrilled about it. Then one of our cars went caput, so it became inevitable that we needed a new one. We sold our faithful little Sunfire and just bought a '05 Grand Am. It is the newest and also the most expensive car I have ever had. So yes, that means we now have car payments for the first time since we have been married, which I'm sure will prove to be fun. But thanks to a friend, we got a great deal on it, and we are happy with our new purchase. At least I won't have to ride my bike to work (though it would be a good workout for me!). It is now midnight, and I am tired, tired. I need to go to sleep. I love sleeping. So off to bed I go. Hopefully my next entry will be intellectually stimulating, full of brilliant writing and interesting details.
Goodnight for now.

My Cup Runneth Over

Just to let everyone know that a job has opened up for me - how exciting! I am going to be a teacher's aide in the special education department at a middle school. I am thrilled about it. It is an old school in a nice neighborhood not even ten minutes from our house. Such a blessing! The neat part about it too, is that the principal seems very interested in hiring me to teach ESL in the fall,which would basically be my dream come true. So, even though losing my job was hard and hurtful ( and still is some), it is neat to see how the Lord has worked in this difficult situation. His ways truly are best, even if they are beyond my understanding all the time. But I guess that keeps it adventurous, right? I have to fill out some paperwork tomorrow, so I am not sure yet of the official start date, but I will keep everyone updated. Just wanted to share the exciting way that the Lord has worked in this, and to share my extreme gratefulness to the Lord for His loving-kindness! And thank you all too for your prayers :)

Even Little Leaks Grow

Tis true. Our adorable little drip-drip from the bathtub spout has grown up. It has gone from the cute, cliche tiny drip of "aren't old houses charming and so much character?", to, well, basically Niagara Falls. It is now a gushing stream that you could easily take a bath in. I read an article today in National Geograpic about the shortage of water in the Serengeti region in Africa, and felt immensely guilty. We could probably have watered an entire herd of wildebeast and a few lions with all the water that has been wasted. This drip sounds like the Falls too, as it can be heard anywhere in the house now, even with the bathroom door closed, as Bill has pointed out numerous times. And speaking of Bill, this guy would never have made it through the Chinese water torture (didn't that have to do with water dripping?). He must put as much of a sound barrier between himself and the drip as possible. Last night, with the bathroom door and the bedroom door firmly closed, he could still hear the water. So, despite the fact that it is relatively cold inside and out, we had a tower fan humming to us all night. Bill finally couldn't hear the drip any longer, and I'm sure my sore throat from the cold breeze on my face will go away. Having the bathroom door closed at all times - Bill's mandate - has brought with it certain interesting aspects as well. You see, the leak is from the hot water faucet, not the cold. So it creates a kind of tropical environment in the bathroom, which is most unusual. It is constantly humid and warm, and the mirror slightly steamed over. Our bath towels don't dry out and my bathrobe is always damp when I put in on in the morning. The toilet paper is getting soggy. But hey, on the bright side, my ivy is thriving. I think I may move all of my houseplants into the bathroom and use it as a kind of mini-conservatory. The handyman is supposed to come tomorrow, and hopefully that will restore our bathroom to its normal arid climate. A few days ago, while wrapped in a hug from Bill, he kissed my head and said, "I can't WAIT for Saturday!". I looked up at him and smiled, "Why's that?", I asked, expecting some romantic banter. "Because," he said, his eyes full with feeling, "then the leak will be fixed".

Time For A Change

'TIME FOR A CHANGE' the Pottery Barn catalog blared in large white letters, as I pulled it from my mailbox that afternoon. "Well," I thought, "I certainly got that!" You see, about 45 minutes earlier, I had been called into my supervisor's office and told that they were "letting me go". No reasons, no warning, and no second chance. My position was still wanted, but I was not. And so, I was at home now, shell-shocked and still trying to digest what had happened. And why. And how, and what in the world did I do to result in this?!
Nearly two weeks later, I am going through the stages of 'processing' what has happened, and working through the various feelings and emotions that go with all that (as well as looking for another job!). I am mostly over the initial shock, though I still have moments of disbelief, and am trying to respond to my new situation in the right way. Is there a 'right way'? I think so, though that does not mean that is always my response. I think it means forgiving, even though I am genuinely hurt by the situation, and the poor way that I feel it was handled - by people that I trusted. I think it is also not allowing this incident to cover our overall good opinion of that organization, and especially as Bill resumes classes again tomorrow there, that has been difficult. Though I hope that we will continue to heal and look back at our time here with appreciation, I confess that for both of us, it has affected the way that we look at the school somewhat. It is hard to see the things we loved about it now through the haze of losing my job, though I am praying that as Bill begins his classes, we will remember, and be able to isolate this incident from the whole experience. Overall though, I believe that the right way to respond is in trust. Trust that the Lord was not caught unawares by this, that He will provide for us, and even more, that His hand is in it and He intends good in all that has happened. This is not some kind of forced optimism - belief that this happened so that my dream job could be revealed (though that may be the Lord's intention!). My next job may be a stinker. But this is trust that the Lord will not let us fall, and that He does have our best in His plans for us - whether we see and understand them or not! The second half of Isaiah 50:10 says, "Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God". I feel kind of like we are in the dark right now, without a light. Yet, looking back over our marriage and my life - and the ways the Lord has worked - I know that I can trust Him. And I must attest that through all of this disappointment, we have seen glimpses of the Lord's care for us - little things that have happened to help us out and provide for us and encourage.
So, I end this blog with a plea for your prayers for us, that we would have right attitudes and feelings, that a job would open up for me (a teaching job would be wonderful!), and that we would choose to trust and rely on the Lord. Also, for those of you who I kept up with regularly via email, I lost all my email addresses the day I left, so please leave a comment with your current email so we can keep in touch!