Still Doesn't Feel Like Home....

Ok, I know that it takes a while, and it hasn't even been a year yet, but it just surprises me sometimes at how it still doesn't feel like home here in NY. Don't get me wrong, it's familiar now. I know streets and directions and recognize landmarks. I can match faces with names, and am no longer the "new person". My books all have a place, and familiy pictures decorate our walls. But it just doesn't feel like home. There's no sigh of contentment when, after being gone somewhere, I walk back into our place. I live here, but there is no emotion connected with it. How different from our place in Dallas. I can close my eyes, and retrace every detail of that house, see it in my mind as clearly as if I am looking at it right now. I can see the fresh green of our little bedroom, and the way the ivy vines framed the windows, and how beautiful it was to wake up with the sun beaming through them, and to hear the birds singing in the trees outside. I loved the warm brown walls in the study lined with books, and the secret nook in the center for Bill's desk. I can almost feel the wooden bench on the deck in the backyard, where I spent countless hours reading or napping, or sitting and finding stars at night, peeking through the branches of the giant pecan trees. I can even hear in my mind the sound of the garage door opening when our neighbor went to get his Harley for a Saturday morning ride. That is still home to me. I miss it. Right now, I miss it a lot. I miss Dallas. I miss sweet friends. I miss warmer weather and sunshine. I miss walking by the lake with Bill. I miss getting coffee and strolling through the Arboretum. I miss all the different ethnic restaurants so easily at hand. I miss our old neighborhood, and discussing with Bill about which house we would live in if we could. I miss leaning across the fence and talking with our neighbors, and having a bite of the delicious something she just took out of the oven. I miss sampling all the fresh produce at the Farmer's Market and feeling like I'm in a different country. I even miss some of my students from school! I know that it was time for us to move on, and I really do feel like the Lord has a plan for us here in NY, so I'm not regretting that we came here, or even wishing that I could go back. I'm just saying....that I miss it,.... and I miss the feeling of home. And I don't know why it doesn't feel more like it here yet.