Time For A Change

'TIME FOR A CHANGE' the Pottery Barn catalog blared in large white letters, as I pulled it from my mailbox that afternoon. "Well," I thought, "I certainly got that!" You see, about 45 minutes earlier, I had been called into my supervisor's office and told that they were "letting me go". No reasons, no warning, and no second chance. My position was still wanted, but I was not. And so, I was at home now, shell-shocked and still trying to digest what had happened. And why. And how, and what in the world did I do to result in this?!
Nearly two weeks later, I am going through the stages of 'processing' what has happened, and working through the various feelings and emotions that go with all that (as well as looking for another job!). I am mostly over the initial shock, though I still have moments of disbelief, and am trying to respond to my new situation in the right way. Is there a 'right way'? I think so, though that does not mean that is always my response. I think it means forgiving, even though I am genuinely hurt by the situation, and the poor way that I feel it was handled - by people that I trusted. I think it is also not allowing this incident to cover our overall good opinion of that organization, and especially as Bill resumes classes again tomorrow there, that has been difficult. Though I hope that we will continue to heal and look back at our time here with appreciation, I confess that for both of us, it has affected the way that we look at the school somewhat. It is hard to see the things we loved about it now through the haze of losing my job, though I am praying that as Bill begins his classes, we will remember, and be able to isolate this incident from the whole experience. Overall though, I believe that the right way to respond is in trust. Trust that the Lord was not caught unawares by this, that He will provide for us, and even more, that His hand is in it and He intends good in all that has happened. This is not some kind of forced optimism - belief that this happened so that my dream job could be revealed (though that may be the Lord's intention!). My next job may be a stinker. But this is trust that the Lord will not let us fall, and that He does have our best in His plans for us - whether we see and understand them or not! The second half of Isaiah 50:10 says, "Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God". I feel kind of like we are in the dark right now, without a light. Yet, looking back over our marriage and my life - and the ways the Lord has worked - I know that I can trust Him. And I must attest that through all of this disappointment, we have seen glimpses of the Lord's care for us - little things that have happened to help us out and provide for us and encourage.
So, I end this blog with a plea for your prayers for us, that we would have right attitudes and feelings, that a job would open up for me (a teaching job would be wonderful!), and that we would choose to trust and rely on the Lord. Also, for those of you who I kept up with regularly via email, I lost all my email addresses the day I left, so please leave a comment with your current email so we can keep in touch!